Isa: 0:00

Welcome to A Better Way, the podcast dedicated to exploring deep topics in Ellie's book Integrating Faith and Psychology in a Better Way. I'm Issa and I am Ellie. Hey, all right, welcome to our December podcast, where we will be discussing what, ellie, we are going to be talking about casting a vision for 2025, really a better way to dream so, isa, I'm a question.

Elly: 0:29

Yes, I may have answers, you may have answers.

Isa: 0:32

So tell me about your favorite new year's resolution oh my, so I have a love and hate relationship with new year's resolutions. Yes, I've done them. Like I'm an American adult, it's just like a rite of passage to say at some point you had a resolution. And I think throughout like my adult life, I've had resolutions from like going to the gym, saving more money throughout the year so that I have a certain amount at the end of the year.

Isa: 1:00

It's been all kinds of different things but, I, honestly don't think resolutions are that healthy the way we do them, the way we pursue we think we have to do them, goal setting, absolutely resolutions, the way we do it as a culture, I mean statistics show people yes, by february they've already stopped doing a lot of the things they've resolved do and I think, february the 12th.

Elly: 1:25

Well, first of all, yes, you're right, they are. They're highly ineffective and they start with the supposition that something is bad, something's wrong with me. I have to change and get rid of the old and step into the new. And there is, I believe I want to say February the 12th, and I'll try to remember to look that up and verify that but that's known as the like the National Quit Day oh wow, this is the day I mean we don't even make it, you know right before Valentine's yeah, people just don't want to buy stuff for Valentine's Day but we New Year's resolutions start with this supposition that something is bad with me, so I have to change, and we try to change everything all at one time.

Elly: 2:11

You know, I'm going to lose weight, which has probably been the New Year's resolution that has been, I want to say, the biggest one is to lose weight or to get financially secure. So this year we're going to talk about, really we're going to bring in Habakkuk 2.2. Let's do it so. Habakkuk 2.2 talks about writing down the revelation and making it plain. You know, god is telling Habakkuk to write down what he's given him, the vision that he has for Israel.

Elly: 2:48

And I think that when we write things down and we talk about this with journaling all the time when we write things down, we just do better with it than if we don't. And another thing is really about keeping the goals clear and manageable and making it about adding things to my, to me, you know, things that I want, versus trying to pull something away. Oh, I want to lose weight, what about? I want to get healthier, so those kind of things is really what I think about. But last year I did the first time I've ever done this. I did a vision board, and so I really wanted to bring this podcast into like a vision casting vision board session.

Isa: 3:40

And it's very interesting because in my, like my successful resolutions, I'm going to call them resolutions for the concept, but it's not tied into New Year's resolutions, it's just goal setting and casting and it's just different words for it have been things that I have written down, whether God gave them to me in a dream or woke me up like the midnight calling. When I sat down and wrote it down, it created a roadmap for me. I can be very goal oriented and having it written down and knowing, okay, this is the end goal, but it also helps me break it down how can I get there?

Isa: 4:16

and it makes the journey clearer for me, and when I don't write it down and I'm just thinking of the outcome, it brings anxiety because it's like you get lost midway.

Speaker 3: 4:27

It's like you start with all this energy and I think that's what happens with resolutions.

Isa: 4:31

Most of the time, the weight loss resolution is because we overate over the holidays.

Isa: 4:35

So most of the time it comes from Thanksgiving well, sometimes October, because of the candy and all that all the way to January 1st we overate. And every time we're about I mean that's personal experience and people that I know that have shared that with me Every time we're about to go to this event, this Christmas party, and we know food's going to be involved, it's like, oh, come January 1st I'm going to stop. So it doesn't matter how much I indulge right now.

Isa: 5:01

So there's already this like um tit for tat negotiation with our resolutions, because the reason we're even saying that is because we're justifying, not following, goals we already have. So I feel like new year's resolutions are things we already know. We want to improve, right, um, improve and add, like you said, to ourselves. But we're in this instant gratification mode, more in this, I'm just gonna do it later type of mentality. Um, that's why I said I have a love-hate relationship, because I believe that when god gives you goals or when you decide that you have plans, the bible says you have plans and god ordains your steps.

Isa: 5:40

People sometimes take that as god is going to change your plans, Not necessarily he puts the plans in you. I believe that most of the time, plans come from God. You guys can go back to the episode where we talk about the midnight calling. We talk a lot about it it's our first episode actually but God ordains our steps means those things, those goals that we have when we write them down. God sets things in motion so that if we're in motion to those things, those goals that we have when we write them down.

Isa: 6:05

God sets things in motion so that if we are in motion to those things, those things become a reality. Writing them down as a reminder. This is a goal you have. This is something you want to do. Do you really want to have that extra scoop of ice cream? Is this aligning?

Elly: 6:18

with your goals.

Isa: 6:19

It's not supposed to be condemning. It's supposed to be inspiring, right, right, and that's like god's wisdom. He knows we operate that way. We're visual, we we like to just know where we're headed, whether we admit it or not. Even people like me that say they don't want to be retained by structure. I thrive in structure. I just have to create the structure. Um, it can't be created for me. If that makes sense, I don't think anybody thrives without structure.

Isa: 6:47

I think, we have people that need structure given to them, and other people need to create structure. I definitely have learned that in my old age that. I need to create structure for myself. I don't thrive in other people's structure but, I do thrive in a structure. God is a God of order and we are made in his image, so there has to be some form of order in our lives. Even if it doesn't make sense to somebody else, it has to be something that's orderly for us.

Elly: 7:17

So I'm glad you said the orderly, because one of the things that I've been doing since I've opened up my practice is I've been blogging. I've been doing since I've opened up my practice is I've been blogging.

Elly: 7:26

I'm doing a lot of blogging and we're now trying to put a blog out with each episode, podcast episode. But the very first blog that I created the image for was New Year, new Hope, and it was really leaning into this ideal that New Year's resolutions as a whole do not work. But it's about being intentional, setting small, unattainable goals. So I want us to think about that as we go through each of these areas. We're going to take Maslow's hierarchy and help encourage you to create a vision board, thinking about these different areas. Now, not every one of these areas might resonate well with you, but I'm sure something in here will, and I'm even going to challenge my co-host to see, to see. So I have a um, a vision, um, a vision board, man, a manifestation board, where we're going to go and we're going to create a, a vision board.

Isa: 8:34

I would love to see your vision. Oh, that would be awesome yes, I already have my word for the year of 2025 I don't and I need to pray for it. I don't. I normally get it honestly during the holidays.

Elly: 8:45

I usually get it like I think about it before that, but it comes to me through the holidays yeah so last year I was so uncertain, I picked one of the two that I was really and I didn't have it till like mid uh, probably mid-January. I was really struggling with it this year. I feel like it was just deposited and I didn't even realize. So, whoa, wait a minute, I was talking about something. I was talking about all the things. So my, my word this year is launch, and I feel like now that I've launched and we, we've, we've started, a lot of things.

Elly: 9:17

We get the uh. We really started getting consistent with the podcast this year. Uh, we, uh, we did the conference and did the workshop. You know we've done all these things. We're really launching this year, um, but I feel like in 2024, uh, 2025, it's time to soak, soak, yeah, so that's gonna be, that is my word for 2025. But as we look at even as I look at the word soak, I'm going to look at each one of these. So physical needs, how do we prioritize self-care and what are some tangible and I don't mean lose weight, guys, y'all that's just automatically setting yourself up for failure.

Elly: 10:00

But one of the things that I've been doing this year for self-care is the 5Ks, so I might put something on my vision board that indicates a 5K. It might be a medal, it might be the word, I mean the spelling of 5K. I'm not very creative, I say that, but have you all seen my pottery? I?

Isa: 10:20

love my pottery. Every time people tell me they're not very creative, I'm like. You might not be creative in the way you think you need to be creative, but I don't believe there's a single human on earth that has no creativity I just think our creativity is expressed differently, absolutely yeah, so do not. Do not say that it's not true. Her pottery, her book, the way she creates, all the content and the graphics that's creativity. It doesn't happen. Sometimes we're just our worst or wish for you.

Elly: 10:49

We are even. No matter how much healing we have, we still struggle.

Isa: 10:53

I really feel like that, people that tell me they're not creative. You're just not creative in the way you see other people's. You just admire other people's creativity a certain way and diminish yourself, and I'm not letting you okay, all right, well, thank you.

Elly: 11:05

I'm so glad I have somebody like isa and mala who's your isa?

Isa: 11:10

yes, we all. We all need people that see that, and I it's biblically sound for everybody that's listening. We're creative in god's image, and who is more creative than our creator, and if we're created in his image, he, he just has all of the creativity, and then he distributed it to us in different areas, just like there's flowers and there's oceans, and there's paintings and there's light, and he's all creative. We just focus on different things, and some people are good with words, some people are great with their hands. We're all creative, though.

Elly: 11:39

Yeah that's nice, absolutely so um another thing that I'm not might put on my vision board this year is I'm going to Scotland next year.

Isa: 11:48

Oh my gosh, and I'm so jealous I never thought I was going to.

Elly: 11:53

If I'm turning green, I am jealous, but I'm going for a four-day retreat and it's all about rest and recovery. If there's some therapy type stuff you know, but it's really about connecting to God and it's um it has the. I can't think of the thing that is called, because it completely just ran away from my mind but it's like set the word up. It's a spiritual retreat and I'm so looking forward to it and that place that it's at. It's like in the middle of the highlands, I don't know, it's just so beautiful.

Isa: 12:35

That's exciting. I cannot wait to hear from that trip.

Elly: 12:38

An image of something like that might be your thing that you put for a physical rest.

Isa: 12:43

A trip, yeah, a trip to the beach. I love the beach. That's where I am, so yeah, I would have an ocean in there.

Elly: 12:52

Safety needs yes. So something we probably don't talk about enough is creating emotional boundaries. So what makes us feel safe and secure. What makes you feel safe?

Isa: 13:04

and secure. I think to me it's stability. It's like like it's hard for me to depend on people, so and that means that's my need and I've learned this. I love that. Things that I struggle the most with relationships is the thing that probably I need the most and I'm just protective of that so that I I'm not vulnerable, but I'm just being depending on, not because of my performance, but just because they are who they say they are Right.

Elly: 13:30

Yeah.

Isa: 13:30

And that's very, very important to me. You don't have to be perfect, you don't. I'm I'm not perfect, and and grace goes a long way. I think when people can be um, it's not even predictable. I don't need people to be predictable, it's not even predictable. I don't need people to be predictable. That's not the right word, I'm struggling with the word but it's really just knowing that we can be imperfectly, perfectly together. I think that's what it is, I like perfectly imperfect. I think when you are genuine to yourself, you're. I find it very safe to be around people that are genuine to themselves.

Elly: 14:09

I think of that as the person that accepts me for who I am.

Isa: 14:15

Yes, and they're very tied into that.

Elly: 14:20

I have a best friend who she might struggle to return a text and I could get really in my feels about that because I mean we've been best friends for a long time and I could get really in my feels about that or I can accept that that's part of her personality and I can call her and say hey, bestie, did you, did you see my text? Because it's.

Elly: 14:42

I just need a real quick answer you know, I know you got stuff going on, but you know real quick answer and we'll. I know you've got stuff going on, but you know just a real quick answer and we'll handle it and we'll move away. There's no shame, there's no pressure to change her or to change me. She recognizes that I might need that answer. That's something I need and I recognize that you know, she's Her phone's not on her.

Speaker 3: 15:04

Her phone is not on her and you know she's her phone's not on her phone is not on her, and you know.

Elly: 15:08

so we, we accept. You know those things about one another, so yeah.

Isa: 15:13

I think one thing that's helped me and I mean by the hearing a little bit, and we'll get back on topic to to be able to even be that to other people is to recognize that people's behaviors are not about me, is to recognize that people's behaviors are not about me.

Isa: 15:25

I think most of the time we have a challenge to connect with people that might push our triggers. We have to remember those are our triggers and it's okay to express them to the people close to us and as loving people we should honor people's triggers. But the things that we do are about ourselves and the things that people do are about themselves. They just happen to bleed out.

Isa: 15:47

That's why we talk about a better way, so we're not bleeding on people right but the reality is if we take that self-control and that self-awareness and we say, yeah, it's hurtful what this person is doing right now, but it really isn't about me, even if they're trying to make it about me. Oh, absolutely. It really isn't. It really isn't because it's coming from them and they're reacting to trauma, to something, to their own assumptions, to even my own behavior. But it's not about me unless I make it about me.

Isa: 16:19

And if I take grace and I say you know what that was hurtful, I think it's rude. I believe it to be rude, think common sense says is rude and I'm not talking about the text, I'm just there's no something behind it. But then I say you know, but I don't have to know and assume they know they're being rude. There's a very big chance they're unaware of their impact their behavior has on other people's lives because they're consumed by their own journey. Right, and if you are comfortable enough to express that to a person, that's real relationship. To me that's iron sharpens iron, because you're extending grace while also making your boundaries known and not judging or accusing. I can say you know, this really affects me in a negative way, but I can completely understand that you might be going through something and if it's something we can work out together. Obviously that requires relationship.

Elly: 17:18

Let's do that right, because sometimes there's people you just had to walk away they're not in a place to you know, I can't tell you how many people will come into my office and will have some concerns about somebody else's behavior. They're not in the room and so the only thing we can work on is ourselves and how we, how we respond.

Elly: 17:37

And if somebody is doing something, let's say you have a friend and I'm not talking about my bestie, because she and I have a very close relationship talking about my bestie, because she and I have a very close relationship but let's say you have somebody who just never, never, puts forth the effort and you're always putting forth the effort then setting an emotional boundary of, okay, I'm going to sit back and and let them do the responding, I'm not going to put in 100% of my effort and then not put in any. And so it's really recognizing. I can't change this other person and if I want them to be in my life, even though they make me feel bad about who I am, then that might say more about me and my own need for healing than it does about someone else.

Elly: 18:21

You know, other people and their behavior is that's theirs. And now we can we can almost train people how to treat us, and so if we accept poor behavior, then yeah, you know. But if I say, you know, I really want a mutual relationship, then you know, and that really ties into the love and belonging which is nurturing relationships, you know really moving, and these ties into the love of belonging which is nurturing relationships, you know really moving, and these are so tied together y'all.

Isa: 18:51

So the safety. It's a pyramid. You can't Exactly. One can't function without the other Exactly.

Elly: 18:56

So safety means I only feel safe when I maybe have relationships that are nurturing and not abrasive and we can dreamcast this.

Isa: 19:06

I believe we can put it on a board. For instance, for me, if I were to work on my vision board and I love this guideline it's like a bullet point on how to build an efficient vision board that meets all your needs, because it's based on we'll make sure these get in the show. Yeah, it makes sense. Instead of you just putting wants up there, which a lot of people do with their vision boards, you're addressing every aspect of your need, life, your life, ok. So for me, for instance, to apply it to that love and relationship, I could put something like read more scripture, go to therapy. Like make, make a time to deal with my triggers and my trauma.

Isa: 19:46

So if it's a picture that I'm putting in.

Isa: 19:48

I can put a Bible, I can put a logo to a book that like self-help or something along those lines, where it's more than just meditating or self-care, like a retreat for pleasure, but intentional, and you would know what it is. For you, for me it would be a bible, and maybe something with, uh, self-control on it, or like awareness or or something along those lines that would help me be like I am going to be more intentional with my relationships and make sure that I am extending grace and self-control and knowing that the emotions that I'm feeling they're mine and they're my responsibility.

Elly: 20:31

Oh, absolutely. For me it might be even like I do pottery. I mean y'all may have probably mentioned that before, I don't know, maybe a couple times, maybe, but it might be that pottery community and really connecting with the pottery community. One, one thing that I'm hoping to find at some point is a pottery retreat, um, but you know that's probably for 2026, but you know, just really, uh, connecting with people that are like-minded. You know, it could be your church group or it could be, um, if you're a car person going to a car show and meeting car people, you know whatever you enjoy yeah, exactly.

Elly: 21:11

Who is this next one? Oh, this next one is all about building self-worth. So how many times? And even me saying I'm not creative and I know I'm creative and and we were, you know, joshing about that a little bit. But, words are powerful, and so I'm certainly not going to put on my vision board. You need to be more creative. I might put something like pottery.

Isa: 21:41

Pottery yes, Paintbrushes Anything that you want to start doing more of that's creative to you yeah, yeah, gardening flower arrangements. She does flower arrangements for the church so like something along those lines right, yeah, or something new.

Isa: 21:55

It might be something you don't think you're good at, because I think we it goes back to our us bantering a little bit. I think people think that because they're not good at something creative, that they're just not creative and I can't compare myself. I don't want to compare myself and I shouldn't compare myself to an impressionist artist that can literally paint almost photographically, because that's a different type of creativity. There's a gift along with that creativity. But I look at my children. I think that's a good example.

Elly: 22:27

They're.

Isa: 22:28

But I look at my children. I think that's a good example. They're all creative, right, like we said, everybody's creative. But I have a son that we can purchase Legos for him and, yeah, he'll do the instructions and do it exactly how the instructions, and then he deconstructs it again and rebuilds something completely different with all the pieces of all the Legos he has and they are amazing. Sometimes they're better than what was in the instruction in the box. He makes them mobile, like they actually move, and they're mechanical. He has an engineering brain. That's his creativity.

Isa: 23:01

Then I have my oldest son that, yeah, he does what the instructions say, but he has a way with words and he can write down and create comic books and draw. But you see, if I were to say, if I don't affirm those things in them as being the same creativity and I make it that Zen is creative and AJ is just smart, that's what we do sometimes. Yes, zen is creative and aj is just smart. That's what we do sometimes. Yes, because we we associate the fact that he is good with words with being smart. I'm doing something positive but I'm doing something negative at the same time. I, without right affirmation, I made me think my son that's, that's engineering oriented feel like he's not smart because he doesn't have this level of this type of creativity. And then I can make this son believe he's not creative or in Enough. And that's what we do to ourselves. We start comparing instead of just the creativity is creativity right.

Isa: 23:59

Talent is talent we just have. I might not be able to say some people can dance, some people can't sing, but they can play instruments. Some people can't sing, but they can play instruments, some people can be. It's all the same, though it comes from the same source it's creativity.

Elly: 24:11

It's talent, it's gift, and so when we do things operating out of our creative self and it really helps us feel empowered, yes, and it helps build our self-confidence and our self-worth, which is why we talk about that here in the building our self-worth, because when I, when I feel like I'm accomplished, like I've only been doing pottery y'all for almost two years February I make two years but I really feel like my pottery is really good and that's not boasting or being thinking more of myself, and I'm not like a five-year potter or a ten-year potter, but it's pretty good there's a certain level of confidence that comes with that. Of course, I know everything I have is from God and God doesn't create junk. Sometimes we put ourselves down before someone else can put ourselves down. If we can really find ways to build ourselves up, you know, put something on your vision board that you, that I am, beautifully and wonderfully made. I am. You know that I am an image of God.

Isa: 25:18

I am his perfect creation. Absolutely Forget that. That's what God says about us and say things don't say things that I tell you to put, don't put anything on there that I say yes, definitely examples, but they have to be authentic to you.

Elly: 25:32

now, as an early therapist, if any of my early clients are watching, I apologize if I ever did this to you, but one of the things that we do is we tell people to say these affirmations which are great, but I can be the next president of the United States Maybe if I was two and I was working my way up there, maybe I could.

Elly: 25:54

I am not going to be the next president of the United States, and that doesn't feel authentic to me when I say that out loud. And so if I'm affirming something that doesn't feel authentic to myself, I'm teaching myself to lie to me.

Isa: 26:09

And almost setting yourself up for disappointment. I think there's something to it, though. If you decide, okay, I can be the next president, let's say that's the first thought that came to you. Maybe it's because we have to do some self-awareness and spend some time with ourselves. And it doesn't have to be, oh, I'm never going to be it because no, it doesn't have to be negative. It's more like why do I want to be America's next president? And in that why question, you might realize oh, I want to make change for my nation. Does that mean you have to be a president to make change for my nature?

Isa: 26:51

So your dream, your goal, that thing that got put in you, is still real and authentic. You just have to dig deeper, because we sometimes state to me, saying I can be america's next president is a superficial level thing, because it's a thing that already exists and it's attainable. If you think about it. There's 300 million americans and one president every four years at a time. The. The likelihood of people in their lifetime being president is so much smaller. But there's millions of people leading in their community and making change every day. And it doesn't have to look and have a particular name, and it doesn't have to look like what you recognize because it's already exists.

Isa: 27:23

Remember there's something in you that is needed in that circle. That doesn't exist. That's where you meet right at the same time. We're the same.

Isa: 27:32

It's it's complicated yeah but we I think it's, we just have to dig deeper in those affirmations. Are we just superficially saying things because we think that's what we need to say, or why do I want that, why do I need this? And I think we can do that with everything, even things that are attainable. I can ask deeper, like I want this, I want a suburban, for which is fine, a new vehicle, but I know I need to know why. Is it because I want people to see me at a certain status? Then I have to deal with that and work with that, or is it? No, that's practical for me and my kids, because I have seven children. And I say suburban because it's. You know, we get to figure ourselves out. I think those vision boards are not only us dreamcasting, but it's kind of like a snapshot of our vision Thought life. Yeah, think about it, it's what we're thinking and I was like okay, do I need to adjust my thought life to be more intentional, more specific and more life-giving? Absolutely.

Elly: 28:30

Absolutely All right. So we have a few more to get through and we are getting close.

Isa: 28:35

I know, yes, I think they bleed into it. I think a cognitive needs to me is us learning from that casting board. Absolutely. I love that.

Elly: 28:45

I love that, and you may find intellectual challenges. You know. I think that the new year is also a time for doing something different that you've never done before, just to try it. One year I tried piano and I loved the piano, but it didn't capture me. One year I tried pottery and it captured me. So not everything I try is going to be something.

Isa: 29:12

I study but try. It goes back to learning and growing.

Elly: 29:15

You're learning about yourself absolutely fail forward, try something. Yes, yes, so. And we're doing the extended maslow today. We're not doing the standard five levels, we're doing the extended, okay, aesthetic needs, it's appreciating beauty and harmony and, for that creativity, the art and nature we've been talking about that. You know pictures of the beach, maybe Pictures of the mountains of Scotland? Yeah, yeah.

Isa: 29:46

If you've been thinking, looking at your house and you're like you know what I kind of wanted to change my aesthetics like I like this 10 years ago and I come here and I feel like it makes me feel like I'm in a rut. Remember, we're visual and we kind of like we go back to clara, to the previous episode, all those things, so you can put that in there. Okay, I want to remodel. It doesn't have to be expensive, I'm not talking twenty thousand dollars pulling out a kitchen.

Isa: 30:07

It could be paint, and I'm going to do it myself and you can incorporate your creativity. I'm going to put, I'm going to change the furniture, I'm going to just even rearranging, so something like that, something that is pleasing to you, that when you look at it you're like, oh, this makes me feel serene yeah, and put it up there and you'll get inspired to do it in your space?

Elly: 30:27

yeah, absolutely. The next one is self-actualization, which we know that that's a word we struggle with. What does that even mean? And it really means living up to your best self is living authentically you know if I, uh, if I am passionate to help people and I don't try to help people because maybe I've been hurt, maybe I've been, you know, abused and I have been all those things, but if I'm passionate about helping people and I don't do that, I'm not living authentically as to who I am.

Isa: 30:59

Yeah, yeah, and authentic. It literally means that it doesn't have to look like anybody else. It doesn't even have to look like somebody you admire. I think sometimes we feel that we have to be carbon copies of who we admire. We remain to be ourselves.

Elly: 31:17

Yeah, the last one is transcendence. This is really about giving back to your community. Transcendence is this is really about giving back to your community. To you know, we uh at our church we have this thing where we do um uh, life bags you know, we every, every other month.

Elly: 31:34

we contribute to some community need in a need in our community, whether it's things like the Hope Pregnancy Center or to veterans needing clothing, something like that. We contribute to that because it's very important. We contribute nationally and globally, but we contribute to our local community, yeah. So I think that's very important to really do those kind of things. And something I really wanted to leave us with is that better framework. When we look at the vision casting for the year, I want you to think about this as we get ready to close. One of the things that we've come up with is a framework out of the A Better Way, all things. A Better Way, and it's the word better, and we'll put this up on the screen. A better way, all things, a better way, and it's the word better, and we'll put this up on the screen. But the B is begin to understand. Begin to understand. Begin to notice. What are some of the things that are anything that you are having tripping points on or things like that. What's the root? Notice that I have a tripping point first.

Elly: 32:43

I'm walking around like a walking wounded. Sometimes I don't even know I'm walking wounded, so begin to notice. And then we really want to educate. Yeah, education is so important and I can't tell you how many times I have even said, oh wow, that's why I did that. You know those kind of things. And then we take down the walls yeah yeah, and rebuild absolutely, absolutely.

Elly: 33:06

So we have to take our defense mechanisms because, you know, asa may have been hurt at some point in her life and she might say I'm not gonna let people in here, but sometimes the healing can't get to her unless she's connected yeah yeah, so really pulling down those walls, and then it's transformation. And this might be where trauma needs to happen, or this might just need where you rework those negative beliefs about yourself Instead of saying I'm not creative, I am creative in the way that God made me to be creative, yes, finding ways to reframe those thoughts.

Elly: 33:44

And then it's all about empowering, you know, and establishing, establishing the, really about just soaking in that that space. And then the R is for rise up or really building resilience.

Isa: 34:01

Yeah, it's amazing, and if you listen to how we've spoken, I know we dedicated a lot more time to some of the ones in the beginning, but they do all bleed into themselves. Yes, it's just like an expansion. The basic ones are five of them and then these are more specific to that. Um, I think the big takeaway is be authentic, don't be afraid it's. It tends to be these vision boards you don't have to share with people until you're ready. They're private. Think of them like little visual diaries in which you are essentially reminding yourself of what your goals are and what you're going to focus throughout the year and accomplishing it also at the end of the year. It's kind of like remember the stickers when you used to go to school and used to do complete a task or read the books and you got a little star. You get to look at the things that you are accomplishing throughout the year and that's a great fuel and motivator too. You believe it might seem like well, no, it's going to be a reminder what I haven't done. If you focus on that, it could be, but the likelihood of you not completing any on that board that year is unless you fall ill or something. It's not likely so when you decide, oh man, I did do this. Okay, that's off my list, I accomplished it.

Isa: 35:15

Yes, let's move on to the next one. There's this we're chemical people. God created us with a reward system and our bodies reward us when we accomplish things. Our bodies flow dopamine into our bloodstream to make us feel motivated and empowered to actually do more, and God intended that. Yes, we abuse it, but that's neither here nor there. That has nothing to do with it being wrong. It just has to do with being wrong. It just has to do with we need to learn how to utilize that that god gave us, and it's completing things. Completing things is extremely rewarding for our brands absolutely so.

Elly: 35:52

We're going to share these uh kind of these tips in the uh. It'll be in the show notes or on the the uh blog wow, my brain almost went completely blank, but it'll be out there for you to kind of look at. And I would love to hear and I know isa would love to hear what are some of your thoughts, what are, what is you know, what's the top thing you're going to put on your vision for? And show us pictures.

Isa: 36:19

Yeah, we're going to share mine, I'm going to share mine, she's going to share hers, and then you guys are more than welcome. Welcome to comment with yours if you're comfortable. Again, it is private. You can cover it up. You don't have to share it.

Isa: 36:30

You can even just bullet point what you're thinking of, but it's just a good way to keep ourselves motivated and just like praying for you praying for you, praying for, for unity, for your goals to be accomplished, for clarity to come, and for that you know that awakening of a routine for your life that is already built in you.

Elly: 36:53

It's just like we forget and we get out of sync and I'm going to put in the um, in the actual filming, not filming. That's not the right way to say that uh recording the recording.

Elly: 37:09

I'm gonna actually put my vision board in there and so that you can see what that looks like it gives you. Not that mine is perfect. You know I took way longer than I was supposed to, but you know it turned out to be what it is. And I there are some things on there that I accomplished and there are some things that I did not accomplish and you know what. It's still beautiful and it's still um something I want to do again so yeah, it's exciting, and you know what I'm thinking.

Isa: 37:37

Maybe we need to organize a vision board party, but you know we'll talk about that that would be so awesome in our building oh my gosh, yes absolutely stay tuned so I think that's all we have for today.

Elly: 37:52

so if you have not been out to the website, wwweleanorbrowncounselingcom, you can find all of our stuff. You can find all the stuff about the books. We have two the better way, a better way integrating faith and psychology. Find all of our stuff. You can find all the stuff about the books. We have two A Better Way Integrating Faith and Psychology to Heal Inner Wounds. And then we have the workbook that goes with that or can stand on its own, so you can go out and check those out. We do have a combo prize and you can check out our podcast, obviously, and then be on the lookout. Eventually, we're going to be doing another conference. Yes, absolutely. Be on the lookout for info about that.

Elly: 38:32

Comment like, share, subscribe, do all the things. Yes.

Isa: 38:37

We'll see you next time. Bye-bye, bye.