SPEAKER_01: 0:00

Because it you know it's not all about I'm gonna cut everybody that's unhealthy out of my line. Because oh my I mean we're all messy. We would all get cut off too. Absolutely, we're absolutely we're gonna get cut off because there's parts of us that are still kneeling. Absolutely, and you know, so it's really where am I at? Where am I at in these friendships? Being clear, being kind, being compassionate, and and not trying to punish people and not trying to punish yourself because sometimes we can beat ourselves up over and over and over again. Uh and letting go sometimes can be the most loving thing you can do to with something. You know, maybe maybe the the friendship was for another time, you know, maybe it was for a season. Right? Maybe it was for lifetime, you don't know. Maybe stepping away is a growth.

SPEAKER_00: 0:55

Hello everybody, and welcome to A Better Way to Heal, where faith meets therapy.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01

We've been talking about healing um relationships during the holidays, but we really, you know, through that conversation, we really uh decided we really wanted to do just one more episode just talking about uh those one-sided friendships that we'll talk a little bit more about what that means. But you know, sometimes we have that friend that we walk on eggshells with, or I mean it could be your spouse, but you know. But we're focused on your friends. We are talking, we are focusing on friends, uh, but you know, we have those people that it feels like nothing we do makes uh uh you know, nothing we do is ever good enough. And I don't know, sometimes maybe they feel that we're that that friend. Yeah. And that's the thing with friendships. Um I always think that it's about lack of understanding and sometimes to the fault of trauma and um and sometimes to just we don't have the tools, right? We don't know how to extend grace and how to work through situations that make us uncomfortable. Yeah, absolutely. So um one thing that we know when friendships kind of feel like they're more work, you know, I have to do so much work with this friendship, and that might be the type of friendship that we might be talking about here. And you know, sometimes growth, uh when we're growing, it's painful, and it can be painful for us, it can be painful for our friends, and you know, uh, so it's not always the other person, sometimes it's us, sometimes we have to look at us, you know, and kind of look at what what are some things that I could do differently. But we're we're really kind of so I was watching The Neighborhood. I don't know if you've ever watched that show, but it is a funny little sitcom, I think on CBS. I don't know. I like to watch them on where you can play them back and skip all the commercials. Yes, streaming is streaming. Yeah, yeah. See, yeah, see how you could be as an issue. Stop it. We don't know why she always acts like she's older than me, like that. It's not that much of a difference. Yeah, we're the same generation, yeah. Well, it feels different because your grand your children are as old as my grandchildren. I started late, late-ish. I was 27 when I found my first one. Yeah, yeah. And she's 18 now. Yeah, I was supposed to uh I mean 27. Um my baby was probably 11. And my oldest was probably about 11 at that time. So my first 27. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, I think sometimes that's better, right? I I was definitely not ready in my earlier 20s. I didn't feel ready at 27 to have it, but not that I wouldn't have had my child. I am grateful for that season, and I also can see the blessing for people that are done and get for them and start their lives. So I think I just I got to be early 20s and make a lot of mistakes in my younger years without babies. So yeah. So all right. So now that now that we know it was streaming. So I'm watching, I'm I'm streaming the neighborhood, and uh there's uh the episode, uh, the most recent episode that I watched was one where um there's the the the premise behind the neighborhood is there's a white family and a black family, and they live next to each other, and they've become kind of really close over the years. This is, I don't know, episode season seven or something, I don't know. But um the wives, Gemma and Tina, and Gemma is texting Tina because Gemma has been going through a rough time. Her husband Dave has just lost his job, and Gemma is like thanking Tina for being her best friend and telling her how much she loves her. Well, Tina, they show in a side view over here, uh, is doing her nails, so she can't answer. So she answers and she's like trying to, and it hits the thumbs up button. So she's just said, I love you. Gemma has just said I love you, and Tina gives her a thumbs up. Now, and when I was first telling Issa about this story, she kind of like, oh, wait a minute, because we all know, right? Because we're in the texting generation. Um, I think sometimes people can text more than they can talk on the phone. That's me, honestly. Um it text a lot, yeah. Yeah, and so we often have these miscommunications. So I mean, it just kept spiraling down, right? And it came to find out, Gemma is steamed, I mean, she's just boiling, and comes over to confront Tina. And Tina's like, I'm just on my nails, I look so pretty. And and Gemma comes in and she's all upset, and she's like, What's going on? She has no clue. And Gemma has worked this up into something way bigger than it is. And I think a lot of times with our friendships, we end up like that. You know, someone may take the time to put these pretty emojis in, and someone may be like in the middle of something, but don't don't want to leave their friend hanging, and so they just answer really quickly or abruptly, and it can come across as well, I wish you would take more time with your text. Well, I value the connection, yeah. And so, you know, I don't know if you have you ever had and if I have and what I've learned, I've had those situations most most of the time. I'm gonna be honest, I can be perceived as the cold one. Um because I and we just talked about this in Bible study. I don't like do small talk and I don't necessarily have conversations about a lot of things that people tend to connect in a way. I um I go I like to go deep right away. I'm a very like go to the deep right away. Um, and at the same time, I'm not fluffy with stuff either. So sometimes people can perceive that as me not being caring. I just care differently. I am not the type of friend that's gonna do the shopping with you. I'm the type of friend that's gonna sit and pray over you and cry with you. And and I think those both friends have value. So I guess what I wanted to add to the story and my perception from not being a therapist and what I've learned and what God has helped me develop in relationships is to love people where they're at and to also understand where you are at so that you can communicate that in a way where we don't leave room for the enemy to slander either of us, right? Um, the Bible says that love covers a multitude of sin. And when we choose to have friendships, it is an act of love. It's supposed to be a godly love. It's uh Jesus valued friendship. Right? And we have misunderstandings with the disciples all the time. He had to correct them all the time. I'm like, okay, you're not understanding me, and you are crossing a line. And that's something that could be communicated in love. Um, but I think the most important thing is understanding what your relationship is with a particular person and not holding them up to an expectation to fill the void in you that they're not even equipped to fill. Yeah, it's unfair and unjust to hold people to a position in your life that should be full with you and God. Right. We share life with people, and we're supposed to mean that means we have a whole life that we're sharing, not expect people to kind of fill in all those gaps. And we all do it. This is not a judgment thing that I'm saying. Oh, absolutely. It's what I've learned. Like my husband is my friend, but he's not my everything, and I can't hold him to that. Um, Ailey is a friend of mine who I love, but she's not the person that's gonna fulfill my whole life. We share something, we share this podcast, we share a love for pottery and art, and we and that's what we share when we come together. But I'm not mad at her because she doesn't like this other aspect of my life. It's okay. We can share what we have in common and love each other and support each other and what she loves that I don't participate in. Right, yeah, absolutely. So there's ways to recognize if you're in a one-sided type of relationship with a person, a friend. Uh and one of those ways is the the problem is always you. You know, if you're always the problem, uh reaching out, apologizing, fixing, you're trying to to to be the one that's always you know uh you know, doing the reaching out and fixing and things like that, then you know, maybe maybe that's a problem type relationship. Yeah. It's like you're pursuing a connection that's forceful on your part instead of trying to connect in a reality level. I agree, that's one-sided. And again, it's not necessarily always the other person. It could be that we have an assessment, okay. Why am I what am I expecting from this relationship? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And really letting go of that expectation, okay, we're not the kind of friends that we thought we were. We can grieve that. We can be like, oh man, I really thought we could be these kind of friends, but you know, that's not where she's at, where he's at. So this is the friendship that we do have. How do I make the best of what we do have and make those interactions godly and pleasing to everybody? And that may be that's the friend that you call once a month and say, Hey, how are you doing? And then there. Right, yeah. Um, and you only see in special occasions and you can pray for them and think of them fondly. But the whole pursuit of like constantly, do you want to do this? Do you want to that? And there's no reciprocal. Right. Yeah. And I'm not talking about you were busy today or you know, something happened where I am. That's not what I'm saying. I think sometimes people jump the gun. Okay. And sometimes that takes a lot of my time away from being able to do what other women my age could do because they have grown children. Yeah. So um, I shouldn't have to sacrifice that because that's the season that I'm in. And I can choose which friendships deserve my energy, and that's just a fact. Right. It doesn't be and we can respect that because that's the season that we're in. Right. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. You know, uh, I can't remember the last time. But if it if it doesn't have to do with pottery or the the work uh stuff that I do, and I say I I call this work loosely because this is my passion. But if it doesn't have something to do with the toe of two of those, I don't go out much. Yeah. And I don't pursue that type of relationship because I I'm gonna fall. I'm gonna, it could be it's just not where I am in life right now. And I think sometimes we get those friendships that uh that maybe want more from us than we're able to give at the time, or maybe we want more from a friendship and they're able to give it at a time. So really kind of gauging, you know, and not making it all about you winning at the end of the day, not making it all about you. It shouldn't always be one-sided. If you're the one that's always apologizing for misunderstandings, then maybe there's a problem. I don't know. Just something to look at. These are just ways of recognizing. Uh, another one is do you feel anxious or small or unseen after you've had or ready stress when you know you're gonna meet with this person? Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you feel empty after a conversation. And again, I just I feel like I need to make a distinction because sometimes we're in places where we're struggling with our friends and having a season of misunderstanding and struggle, and then we start saying, Yeah, yeah, I want to be fair and say sometimes we leave engagement with the friends drained because it was intense. We were discussing something emotional, whether it was individually, personally, or with that person, of course, you're gonna be exhausted and worn out. That shouldn't define the friendship. This is more a conversation of every time I sit with this person, I feel like the light has been sucked out of me. Yeah, no matter even if we're just talking about mundane things, there's something about their energy and the way that they approach conversation that really leaves me empty. Right. Is that what we're talking about? Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. And you know, the the feeling unseen, there's sometimes we'll have those conversations with someone, and uh and then later on they'll tell you you said something or or you think that they've said something, and it wasn't at all what the other person said, and it's because sometimes we don't seek the hear or understand what the other person is saying. So communication is so important in uh in any kind of friendship, and I think sometimes we come into it with our own set of perds and our own set of pre-conceptions, and uh we can take things out of context that someone says because we we weren't really listening. We're working, we're operating from a room. And the example that you gave was a great example. For instance, a healthy way to approach that situation be like, okay, acknowledge that it hurt me. Oh, this made me feel like I was so vulnerable, and tell the person, you probably didn't mean that. I'm just checking with you, giving me other opportunity, giving the grace and the opportunity other people to explain themselves. Yeah, and even if they meant to say thumbs up, maybe it's something that this vulnerability happens. I didn't know what to do with that. I've never been told I love you. Surprise you're assuming because we come at it with our own filters and our own perception, and we assume that's how other people view the same situation, and it's a different perspective. They could be, I did not know how to even respond. So I did a thumbs up to acknowledge it, but I didn't, or it could be fat thumbs and I hit the wrong emoji. Right, yeah, but that will never happen if I let the enemy slander from the beginning. I'm offended, and do not allow myself to be okay, this hurt me, so this feeling is real, but I don't have to automatically assume it was intentional. And that's where maturity and and growth and therapy and all these things come together to help you. And I don't, you know, uh, I'm not so grown that I don't have growth in this area. Just you know, I'm just putting that out there. We all have growth. Ethan has growth. I have growth. We all need to grow in areas, and you know, sometimes we have to reflect and say, what was my partner? Sometimes we can have those friendships that rub us the wrong way, and it's maybe it's not anything, one thing that one person did. It's maybe your porcupine inner child, whatever you want to call it, is rubbing their porcupine inner child the wrong way. And it's maybe it's like, okay, with maybe recognizing these patterns. Like for me in my life right now, uh, we have some pretty significant things going on in our family that kept very private because that's you know, you know, see you don't share with these things, and so I might not be as attentive as I would have been maybe a year ago or maybe a year from now. I don't know, but we don't know what's going on. I tell people all the time, you don't know what that other person is carrying. Yeah, so we really have to just pause. And you know, I have friendships in my life, you know, like you. I can come to you and I can talk to you. And I always leave feeling, you know, better than when I kind of came into that space. Um my best friend, I mean, I don't even have to say anything sometimes, and she just you know, she's just there, or she'll just okay, I sense there's something going on. Let's, you know, let's redirect or let's do something, or or she'll if she feels uh like maybe I've said something that didn't quite sound right. Let me call her. Yeah, and she'll immediately where I would want to withdraw, she'll immediately call me. And like, yeah, you're not doing this alone. I think you're I can I can see behind the curtain and I still love you. Yeah, yeah. And those are safe places that are created with relationship and and working through her just like a marriage. Um, when you work through certain things, you can overcome communication hurdles. Yeah, just like a marriage, it can be one-sided. Both of you have to be in agreement. There's some things we have to work on together in order to propel this friendship. Yeah, I do agree that biblically, even there are certain relationships that it's okay to create separation from. And because if the other person is unwilling to see that there's something to work on or unwilling to respect boundaries, because we get to have boundaries. For instance, this is uh what I consider a healthy boundary in friendships. I can sit with my friend Ellie. And if we have a mutual acquaintance or a friend, and she comes to me with a concern and wants to pray, I can have that conversation. Now, when it turns into gossip, when it turns into just airing people's things out for the purpose of judgment, I am the first one that's gonna be like, I don't want to talk about that. And that's a boundary for me. And and I won't be rude, original, but if it's something that persists, that every time we get together, all you're doing is criticizing somebody that we have in common. I am going to have a problem with that and I'm going to avoid you. That's I'm just gonna be like, okay, I already brought it up, and that's all you want to talk about all the time. I mean, again, I'm not saying that I don't sit with a friend and we can't just grant I'm so worried about what happened to Kendra, and I'm using as an example. We've never done that, actually, never have done that. But it's a common friend that we have. That's one thing. She we go to the same church, it'll be like, you know, I let's pray that healing, whatever. I'm making stuff up. It's nothing that's ever happened, but um, yeah, nothing. It's it's made up that's different that I can do, you know. And I've I've sat with Kendra and we've prayed and talked and discussed mutual friends with but because she used to run our marriage ministry and we've done that. But you can tell when it's a spirit of this is heavy as my friend, I'm worried about this friend, then let's all gang up on her and not be friend with her anymore. There's a difference on I'm going through the struggle, and it's so frustrating. And of course, you have relationships that are closer than others. Like how she talks to Jay about other friendships is gonna be different than how she talks to somebody else. And that's discernment and where the spirit of truth and and the honesty with yourself comes. But I also get to have a boundary with people and be like, yeah, I don't feel comfortable having those conversations with you. Um, that's actually happened to me to somebody that's in me here. Somebody called me to talk about them. And I I've seen this, let's let's pray about this, I'm concerned about this. That's one thing. But to come and talk badly about them with me, like it's the wrong person to tell me this. You know, he's still my husband. I'm not gonna sit here and break it down. I believe friendships are like that too. I would do that for Ellie. Anybody that comes to me, even if I agree with it, you'll never know. Because if I if it's malicious and not to the intent of let's go talk to her and see if we can help her through this, because I've seen her come drunk to church three times, you know. But if you're just talking to me so that I find out she's getting drunk and you have no intention of yeah, yeah, you're gonna have to go somewhere that's with that. So I think this is where we really have to Ellie didn't come drunk to church. Yeah, you can edit this. I was just I'm using the weirdest examples that never happened. It wasn't hypothetical. Um about the pastor, so if I ever did come drunk, they would probably know. So um, I'm a happy drunk. I don't know, it's been a long animal like my husband keeps the funniest things. My husband's the editor, so whatever makes it out there, y'all pray for me. Yeah, it it didn't happen. I'm just saying, yeah. So bringing it back, Proverbs 423 talks about guarding our heart. Above all else, we're supposed to guard our heart. So, I mean, um, God was the first person that put us in boundaries. I mean, yeah, Adam and Eve have boundaries. Everyone has boundaries, and sometimes we don't understand that. Um, you know, living at peace with everyone, these kind of things we we hear something like that in Romans 12, 18, live at peace with everyone, and we think that means um, you know, uh I have to be a people pleaser and I have to make everyone happy. And that's not what that means. That's not at all what that means. Living at peace is different than being at what one might call a people pleaser. Uh people pleasers are um that that tends to be a trauma response because I've been through things, I'm not okay unless everyone else is okay, and and so they're not really taking care of themselves. And if that's if that's what's going on, if you're you know you're trying to make everyone else okay, then there's some growth areas in you, you know, some security. A lot of times that's from a very anxious attachment style. Um I'm not okay unless um, you know, unless you're super close. They're the kind of uh people that uh they they love everybody, but they will hold on to the dove, you know, and break its back, not meaning to because they're holding on so tight. And all of their validation comes from those external uh wounds. So for instance, there are people that you sometimes can't feel comfortable around because you know, any kind of complaint or real emotion that you're having will cause them to take it personal, and it's not even about them. And it's something we have to pray about, it's something that they have to be willing to work it out and listen to it. And for example, if I'm I'm at your house and I just so happen to say I'm cold, if you have an anxious attachment, you're gonna feel criticized and think, oh, did I not keep it warm enough? And it becomes, I just happen to be cold. Like I wasn't, I just said it out loud. And and of course we have to be mindful, but that's that eggshell walking, and you're like all of a sudden that person is just all over the place trying to warm you up, but it's not from a place of oh man, you're cold, it's from a place I'm not good enough, and I need to make it good enough. And then every word you say somehow becomes a criticism on them, and it's that's exhausting. That is very exhausting. Yeah, it really is, it really is. Uh, so you know, there is a there is a better way, you know. Yeah, there is a better way, and you know, one uh one of the things that you can do is really kind of notice what's happening inside of you when you're around certain people. You know, is it that uh anxiety, you know, are you are you struggling with that? Do you feel the need to apologize for some wrong that you did, which you might need to, yeah. Uh, or it might be literally um I send a thumbs up versus the heart. Yes. And does it does that really require an apology? I mean, maybe, but uh to what level, to what extent of an apology do we need to give for something like that? Right. Yeah, because maybe you're so it could be easily flipped on you. I think the when you think of the Bible, how you judge who will be judged. To me, that would be if I come at you hot because I sent an I love you and you sent a thumbs up, did you send me I love you because you really loved me, or because you wanted to get something back for yourself? So I can flip it easily, like, okay, so you do you love me, or do you only love me if I say I love you back in the way that you want me to, with the hearts that you want me to? So is it a real genuine thing, or do you need me to be in that position? And there's nothing wrong with that, but that creates conversation and clarity. That person may not even see that's what they're projecting, right? And they might be like, Oh no, I love you. Then it doesn't matter what I respond. Uh-huh. If you're feeling it, if you're aware, what does it matter if I respond? If it if the ways in and how I respond to what you're sharing is your emotion, then that's a lot to put on a person and yourself. Absolutely. Are you really feeling that way or not?

SPEAKER_03: 25:59

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 26:01

So you know, the next thing is really name in the pattern, you know, really, you know, is uh do you have uh with the the friend or whatever, are you able to be honest or does it feel like uh uh harsh you know, does it feel like attacking? And and um, you know, can I have an open and honest conversation like Isa? You know, when I when I showed up today and you weren't here, we're supposed to be here at 1.30 and I was here at 1.35 and you still weren't here. Yeah, it really hurt my feelings. And it's like, man, I really needed some food. And I thought I'd be back in time, and there was a there was a line. You know, was it you know, can we have an honest conversation, or does it come across as you know, you really hurt my feelings? She's like, Well, you know, well, I'm I'm about tired of listening, you know. We can uh it it's the are we defensive when we have a conversation? Are we able to have a conversation? But there are some people in my life that have, and this is not I mean, this may be intransparent here, but sometimes I I don't even want to have a conversation because I'm afraid that it'll be taken out of context or that nothing I say will be right, so I'd rather not say anything, which is unhealthy, 100% unhealthy for me. So I'm working on that. It's a growth, it's a growth thing. Um but if can we sit down and have an open and mature conversation? Because we're all gonna bump, so we're different people. So iron sharpens iron because it bumps with itself, right? Like it bumps, and it's not uh pleasant sound and it's it can create sparks. All kinds of things happen when iron um sharpens iron. Um the point is we're both being honest. I think when we're when both parties are being honest and receptive and understand that there's some hurdles to go through and are working individually on themselves, when you do the iron sharpens iron, it's more purposeful because when in um an iron worker is doing that, they already have a tool in mind that they're gonna put together, whether it's a sword or another hammer. So there's already a mission and a purpose. So I feel like when you go back and you're working on yourself, and the purpose is I'm gonna be the best version of myself, and I'm gonna allow others to be the best version of themselves. And those might not be the same thing, you come together with an intent. And the mission, if it's friendship, okay, that means it's two people sharing their lives, right? Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. So the next thing is nurture. Uh, so we want to the the better way is really notice, name, nurture. Um, and I love the you know, the three ends notice, name, nurture. So we want to nurture sometimes that nurturing is we have to take a break, we have to take a step back. Uh sometimes it's taking a step forward, but either way, you know, whether I'm taking a step back or we're taking a step toward reconciliation or uh, you know, toward understanding and um either way doing it respectfully, you know, because we're all part of the same body of Christ. Or okay, we're we're all part of the human race, whether or not we're part of the same body of Christ, because we're not all um, you know, we're you know, we have relationships in our life that may be um maybe Christian, maybe not. You know, even a relationship that's not Christian is still a good, you know, it can still be a good relationship. So I don't want to assume that we're um that it's uh that we're only talking about Christian brothers and sisters. Just relationships. How else are you gonna redeem the world as a believer if you're a believer? You're not talking to people that aren't. Like all of them. Yeah, yeah. That's how you said it. They went to everybody, they weren't saved until they were. Right, exactly. So, you know, just really. Deciding, you know, being prayerful, you know, being kind, being considerate, being compassionate, and you know, maybe um instead of a text back, maybe it's a phone call. And even if it's a text back or uh a phone call, you know, just being kind with your words, especially if you already know. So for instance, if you've already had a conversation with somebody, no, like when you just respond K with a thumbs up, it just makes me feel unheard. That's a friend that I want to honor. It might be okay when I do it to Erica because we're very similar, we just right to a point we're done. But I might have a friend that just needs a little bit more from I can I can take and meet her where they're at because it was a conversation. And now that there's an understanding that if I forget or I'm quick one time, just take the grace to understand that it's not on purpose. Right, it's kind of like a give and take with this friend. I'm gonna take a little extra time. Yeah, she needs that, yeah. Yeah, but of course, I it because I know that, but maybe we might spend a little less time together because the demands of your time remove certain things, but know that when I'm with you, I'm gonna be intentional. Yeah, and I'm I'm gonna do what we talked about. But obviously, it's a give and take. Yeah, absolutely. So as we start closing it out, you know, we really just want to look at, you know, uh some of the things we've talked about is really boundaries, and that's about being, you know, clear, you know, not it's not punishment, but it's really about seeking clarity about you know what what are healthy relationships and unhealthy relationships and relationships that I'm working on. Because it, you know, it's not all about I'm gonna cut everybody that's unhealthy out of my mind. Because oh my, I mean, we're all messy. We would all get cut off, too. Absolutely, we absolutely are gonna get cut off because there's parts of us that are still kneeling. Absolutely, and you know, so it's really where am I at? Where am I at in these friendships? Being clear, being kind, being compassionate, and and not trying to punish people and not trying to punish yourself because sometimes we can beat ourselves up over and over and over again. Uh and letting go sometimes can be the most loving thing you can do to with something. You know, maybe maybe the the friendship was for another time, you know, maybe it was for a season, right? Maybe it was for lifetime, you don't know. Maybe stepping away is a the growth, yeah. Yeah. I mean, we have friendships that we're just starting families and friendships with the empty nesters, and of course that's gonna change the dynamic depending on where you're at. And it doesn't mean that person was bad, it's just they're in a different season. If I have a friend with babies, I'm gonna understand they're gonna be more tired, they're gonna potentially want more time to do more relaxing things, they don't necessarily want to go out to too many activities because it depends on their personality as well. But yeah, that's an understanding that's like don't feel bad if they don't say yes to every invitation or every party or every just they're in a different season. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. The last thing we really want to talk about is guard your peace, honestly, guard your peace. God honors healthy space. So, you know, just having healthy space in your life and be helpful, and you know, for me, I know that this, like I said, this year has really been a time of stoking. And like I said, you know, at the beginning, kind of our family's been going through some things this year. So I haven't been as emotionally available as I typically am. And that's something I'm gonna work on in 2026. Um, but you know, it if you're my friend, uh, hopefully you understand that, and you can meet me where I am, maybe give me a little bit of grace while I work through some things. Yeah, sure. And it's grace, grace and love the same. It's essentially the golden rule. Treat others as you would like to be treated. And that doesn't mean that you're gonna force on people what you like. It's more like you're gonna give people the grace to let you know who they are, respect boundaries, and also sometimes having the discipline to remove yourself if you see that your patterns are harmful to that person and be like, I'm not, I'm not, I don't have the tools to do this right now. And instead of causing more harm, maybe I just need to take a step away. Yeah, absolutely. Well, I hope this has been uh a good episode. Yeah, hard episodes. Uh we would love for you to have those one-sided friends. If maybe you are one of those one-sided friends, you know, really listen to this, listen to our heart. This is not to beat anybody up. Share this with a friend, keep it, you know, um, like it. Uh, you know, share, share your story, share your testimony with us. We'd love to hear so. Thank you for watching or listening. Yeah. And I pray that you come and follow. Uh, subscribe to YouTube so that you can see previous episodes and not miss the next one. Thanks for watching. Thank you. Bye bye.

SPEAKER_00: 35:52

Thank you for watching us. We really appreciate you being here. If you enjoyed the episode, like, subscribe, share with a friend, and join us next time. Thank you. Bye bye.