Naming Holiday Overwhelm

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Holiday overwhelm is real. You know, we talk about it. We've probably talked about it last year. We probably looked at the podcast. We probably talked about it last year. Differently then. Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, often we have too many commitments and too many expectations. We want everything to be perfect. So the first thing you can do. So we talked about uh a few a few steps, three steps. The first thing you can do is breathe and simplify. Oh, yeah, absolutely. So slow it down, you know, you can't do it all. One of the things I love uh the more we add people to our Christmas eat, you know, it can feel like a lot, right? But you know, having them make a dish so that all the cooking isn't on me, so I can focus on the small things, and then the other family members can ditch in, and that helps so much. I mean, they just don't even know how much that helps. Sounds like advice, like allowing yourself to lean on other people in the holidays. Oh, yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Show Welcome And Episode Focus

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Hello, everybody, and welcome to a better way to heal, where faith meets therapy.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

Well, hello is uh hello everybody. Hi, I'm Ellie and I'm Isa, and you are watching a Better Way to Heal.

When The Season Stress Kicks In

SPEAKER_02 1:20

Today we are going to talk about three small steps for a stress-free holiday season. That's easy, right? When do you start feeling for going into the season? You know, it's really different every year. Uh there was one year I worked until I did uh in college and I did college and was working until December 22nd. And I did all of my Christmas shopping on December 23rd because we do our Christmas on December 24th. So I really struggled that year. Uh but for me, I feel like I've already so I'm doing pottery this year and giving pottery gifts as uh Christmas presents to most of my family. Um but so it already kind of feels like the holiday season has started because you have to start so early with pottery.

Culture, Climate, And Traditions

SPEAKER_02 2:12

So what about you? So for me, it's around October, um, the end of October. I have young children, so when they start getting excited about trading and things of that nature, I start feeling it already. Um, but also I think the big marker for me is the weather, the temperature change. So that's unique to being in the States because I'm original from Puerto Rico and the temperature doesn't really fluctuate that much. Um, over there, it starts early because people start doing it. It's something about the food changes, the traditional plates are starting to be served more often. Um, so it's just kind of in the air, but it's still around the same time. October. Well, you know, holiday overwhelm is real. You know, we talk about it. We've probably talked about it last year. We've probably looked at the podcast, we probably talked about it last year. We did in a different way then. Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, often we have too many commitments and too many expectations. We want

Perfection Pressure And Overcommitting

SPEAKER_02 3:12

everything to be perfect. We I think I believe that. Oh my god, shape, everything's picture perfect, uh-huh. Somehow everybody has a perfect person and nobody has the budget. You know, sample. It is such a high level of pressure, right? And then everybody wants that same picture perfect, so you get all these invitations, and when you blend, you know, you get marriages and you blend marriages. I come from a blended family. Um, it's like, where are they celebrating this? What's going here? And it can become a lot work parties, church parties, uh, family parties. No, yeah, no, yeah, really can.

Stress Signals In Body And Mood

SPEAKER_02 3:57

So stress often shows up in our body. You know, lack of sleep, uh, not eating right, uh moods, and uh and you know, unfortunately for women, we also deal with hormones, hormone shifts, they don't go away, but they are definitely amplified in the yeah. I think it's already your cortisol levels go up because you're stressed. Um, I mean, you already have the winter blues, right? As the temperature gets colder and the sun comes out less, you're already kind of going through some mood changes, then the pressure, right? Yeah, you have the weather changes and you know, vitamin D deficiency is a real thing that can happen during the time. Yeah, absolutely. Even good things, you know, the holidays. Um, I really enjoy uh uh Christmas Eve at the house. But even that can become too much. Yeah, yeah. It's on top of all the other pressures and expectations, like our body wants to go in hibernation mode, but it's when things pick up even more.

Step One: Breathe And Simplify

SPEAKER_02 5:00

Absolutely. So the first thing you can do, so we talked about uh a few a few steps, three steps. The first thing you can do is breathe and simplify. Yes, yeah, that's what I've learned to do. Um, I definitely, even though I have children and it tends to be complicated in other ways, I've simplified the expectations of being everywhere at once. So growing up, before I had children, it was the multiple gatherings everywhere and preparing dishes for everything and not hurting this family member because he went here. And in Puerto Rico, the holidays are huge. It's like a big deal in greening culture. We do what's called Bajan Mas, which you essentially go and play music at somebody's house in the middle of the night, they let you in and then you stay up all night eating and chatting. It's cultural and it's a tradition, and they you don't know when they're showing up, so you're always expected to have the house stacked with food during that time. Okay. So it's fun, they're good memories, but when you're the person maybe not having such a great financial year that year, or when you've lost a loved one, or just life is just stressing you out. That can be very overwhelming. Oh, yeah, absolutely. So slow

Delegating Meals And Saying No

SPEAKER_02 6:10

down, you know, you can't do it all. One of the things I love uh the more we add people to our Christmas eat, it you know, it can feel like a lot, right? But you know, having them make a dish so that all the cooking isn't on me, so I can focus on the small things, and then the other family members can ditch in, and that helps so much. I mean, they just don't even know how much that helps. Sounds like advice, like allowing yourself to lean on other people in the holiday. Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely. You know, another thing, you know, is really that pausing before you say yes, because we can be real great. Oh, yeah, I can do that. Oh yeah, I want to do that. Oh yeah, I can I can go out to an all uh all an all-night pottery show or something out like that the the day before Christmas Eve. No, no, not even for pottery people. I mean,

Gift Pressure And Comparison Traps

SPEAKER_02 7:05

really, no. And and that could be choices. You have to choose. Do I want to be um exhausted for this event or do I want to be rested? What do I say no to? Or maybe show like show just for a little bit. It's like you can't stay all night for certain events just to show face. Yeah, yeah. The other pressure is gifting everybody, making feeling like everybody that you know in your life has to get a gift.

SPEAKER_04 7:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:30

And sometimes that pressure comes because there's people that um do that, that are really great at just thinking about little details, have these little gifts for everybody, and you know, when you get it, you're like, I can't do anything. Uh-huh. And you don't mean it that way. I mean, we don't know, but it can be like, oh my gosh, I'm just not like that. Like, yeah, yeah, I already have all this stuff over here. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. It's stressful. Yeah,

Be Still: Faith As An Anchor

SPEAKER_02 7:55

yeah. So really slowing down, you know, the Bible tells us to be still and know that I'm God. And I think it's that be still part that we really lean into. I mean, and know that I'm God, of course. But uh, we can't know that unless we be still, you know, we need to be entire first. So um step two, protect your peace.

Step Two: Protect Your Peace

SPEAKER_02 8:16

You know, we talk a lot about that in this uh podcast, but you know, sometimes you have to set boundaries around your time, around uh people, around uh, you know, conversations, you know, just you know, set the boundaries so that you can finish well. Yeah, right. Right. I think it's important. This is again the first boundary, like we were talking, and just to reiterate, you don't have to say yes to everything. I think planning, not everybody's a planner or note taker, but maybe planning your holidays out. Like, how what am I gonna limit myself to? Of course, I'm gonna do Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with my kids. That's just my example. That is for my family. What can I add Christmas Eve? Oh, I can go to the church this year, I can go to the church Christmas Eve. There's been times that there's so much going on with my family that I can't make it to that

Traditions, Boundaries, And Flexibility

SPEAKER_02 9:07

service, and I have to be okay with that because we're traveling to visit somebody or somebody is coming to be with us. And those dynamics, just give yourself a break. Make sure that you have these staples that are your traditions that you want to um find some comfort in tradition, but also be flexible enough to be like this year I might not be able to do that, and that's okay because I'll enjoy this. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And you know, really choose in presence over perfection. You know, sometimes we can, you know, uh like I'm like I said, I'm making pottery for uh for my family, and um the pieces probably won't be perfect. You know, I could spend a lot of time out there trying to make them perfect, or I can make the pieces and spend some time with the family and those kind of things. So um really choosing, and I there's

Presence Over Perfection At Home

SPEAKER_02 10:00

a thousand different other things I could use as examples, but really choosing presence of a perfection. Exactly, and that even that even means to that particular time. So when you're preparing the food, hey, if something just didn't come out exactly how you wanted to, it's not about that. It's like we're here with the family, they're here, and instead of changing the mood of the environment, yelling or beating yourself up, you know what? Even if it's just sandwiches that we had to eat today because I burned the turkey, we're here. It's about people. Yeah, so I think my biggest advice in slowing down is it has to do with be still and no, but just remember why we even celebrate. And it could be the cliche, of course, is Jesus' birthday. No, not only that, of course, that's a huge deal, but we celebrate that every day. I celebrate that every day. Jesus came into the world on saved, that's a celebration and thanking him. I'm talking about why we even gather to celebrate together. It's about family and it's about spending that time together, not what it looks like, not what it's supposed to look like, but the fact that we're gathering and some of us don't see each other, you know, as we get older

Remembering Why We Gather

SPEAKER_02 11:05

um that often. So it might be the only time of year that you see some of the people. Think about it that way. Instead of stressing and trying to make perfection, make connection. Absolutely, absolutely. So step three uh is all about uh practice renewal daily, you know, uh really rest, prayer, movement, creativity. These are some renewal things that we can do daily, you know. Uh of course, the you know, getting eight hours of sleep or seven hours of sleep, whatever you need. Some people need 10 hours of sleep. I don't know, but you know, getting proper rest, you know, starting the day off with prayer, starting the day off with some new and creativity, you know, finding a way to

Step Three: Practice Daily Renewal

SPEAKER_02 11:50

be creative, and you can use what are meant to be these chores, like even decorating your home or stuff, and use creativity in it. How can I make this fun and new so that it doesn't become this chore? Like, you know what, I'm decorating different this time. I'm not gonna overdo the life, I'm gonna do the simple thing, and that might be the thing that brings you joy. It's okay to do things differently for the sake of your peace and your time. And there you might get that comment from a family member, oh, why don't we have the 30th Christmas tree? Because I know I have friends that have over 25 trees in their house. And they're beautiful, and she loves it though. She does it because she loves it though. But but if there's a year where she doesn't have 27 and she has one, be okay with that. Yeah, would you be okay with that? And that's the stuff that will reduce that anxiety, that that feeling of despair, that then you can't even the night comes and you can't even enjoy the decorations, yeah. Because you're just so wound up about it. Yeah. So when we do these small things every day, you know, it starts to build, you know, stability. And you

Creativity, Rest, And Joy In Simplicity

SPEAKER_02 13:00

know, when we do that, those uh if we we build that ability, that strength to be able to continue on. Yeah, you know, Isaiah 40 and 30 is at 31 is one of my favorite verses. It says, those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. And when we hope in the Lord, I mean I think of that when I'm you know, when I'm in the pottery studio, it's I don't feel like I'm when I'm at the wheel, it's like I'm closer to God than anyone in my life because it's you know, it being like the potter and the wheel, and I I know God, I know that. But you know, just holding the clay in my hand and thinking of how God holds us so lovingly in his hands, and how just that renewal that you know cleaning into that that connection really helps me each day. Yeah, and it's being present. Absolutely. You're creating something, so you're forced to be present, or you're correctly play correctly. Uh-huh. And I think that's the trick. Whatever, I mean, it might not be

Grief, Changing Seasons, And Pace

SPEAKER_02 14:00

pottery for you, but what are those things that make you be present in that moment? Yes, you can be with God because God can be everywhere without taking you or disconnecting you. In fact, connecting you even more to what you're doing with intention. Find that thing that keeps you centered and present instead of anxious about what we're gonna do tomorrow or what I did yesterday, or right going through your head, all the things that find that thing for renewal that brings you present and allows you to enjoy the moment, what you're doing in the absolute. So there is a better way, right? There is a better way, you know, caring for your body, your mind, your spirit is essential, you know, for us to be able to just really do that sacred work. And you know, we say sacred work, and it's that you know, having that holiday season, uh, you know, if we're trying to point people to Jesus, how do we do that? And is it by you know kind of running around like a chicken with our head cut off? Kendra. Sorry, it's an inside joke.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Uh uh just because we were talking about Kendra last

Let Grace Set Your Pace

SPEAKER_00 15:10

month or last week, and uh it just made me think about her when I every time I say chicken with the head cut off.

SPEAKER_02 15:16

Um but uh you know, we're doing if we're running around like that, we're not pointing at people, you know. It's like why would I want a piece of that? You know, yeah, yeah, that that anxiety and desperation, and we miss an opportunity to minister. So it's interesting because I feel like the enemy twists everything. So when you think of the holidays as a kid, I thought of like Christmas break, right? As a child that wasn't involved in all the responsibilities of making it look magical. Um, you think of rest as a child. When you become an adult, it becomes labor if you're not mindful. So how can we how can we allow our inner child to be present as an adult in Christmas? I think that's the cue and the key there. And it goes back to simplification. A better way would be do I need to actually do all these things all the time? Absolutely, or what can I eliminate this year in order to be able to sit on the

Final Takeaways And Listener CTA

SPEAKER_02 16:15

couch with my kids with my PJs, enjoy some hot cocoa, uh-huh, and just exist, just be. Yes, keeping it small, keeping it simple, absolutely. You know, it's all about safety, risk, connection. You know, how can I, you know, the very bottom parts of Metcel's hierarchy it needs, how can I uh how can I have that strength if I'm all over the place doing so many things. My year, my word for this year was so, and it was all about I was doing so much last year, I really wanted to slow down and and start moving things out of my life, uh, so that I can sustain because there I was going at a breakneck uh pace that I couldn't maintain, and I still feel like I'm going too far uh too much. Simple, small uh steps, sustainable things that are sustainable, correct? Sustainable, and it's okay, it might be different every season, it might be different this year from last year because you have grown kids versus tiny kids. It might be different because you may have had a loss in your life, and we've talked about this. And the holidays can be painful when you've recently lost somebody. It could actually doesn't have to be recently, yeah. It could be a fact that this holiday season it was filled with so many memories with this person that as the years go by, there's still a place for them that you hold, and it's okay to hold it, it's okay to to to kind of add that without the stress and the pressure of pretending that you're okay and pretending that it doesn't still hurt. Um, but also moving forward with the holidays as well. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. I think for uh especially for doers or retrievers, we really not need to understand that you don't have to earn rest. That's so important. That is something we need to do, we need to rest so that we can run the race. I think Paul talks about that. Yes, correct. Um let grace set your pace. You know, we don't have to be perfect, and really joy is found in the song. You know, it that when it gets chilly, I don't get to get out and and feed the choice. Uh I don't want their metabolism to slow down so they can withstand a cold. Uh uh that kind of messes with my that's my that's my resetting moment in the middle of the day of finding something different during the colder days uh because um I would want to have that uh that way, yeah, that would wait to it's an opportunity for invention. I'm thinking about this as an as we close. I was thinking, if you're ending the holiday season, feeling like you need a vacation, you need to rethink how you're doing the holidays. That's a real takeaway. That's your assessment. Yeah, there should be a balance of yeah, it was it was exciting and we did this because there is activity that happens, but also, yeah, that was a good vacation. That was a good break. You know, it was good. There should be a balance, and if you're only feeling like I'm so glad it's over, you may be doing too much. Yeah, it might be. So on that note, we are going to end it for today. Yes. Um, you know, uh check out our our check out our podcast, you know. If you feel like this, you know, you've got that friend that needs to hear this, or if you need to hear this, save this, share it, you know, comment, uh, let us know. Let us know what you think, and let us know. You know, we're we're really heavily planning for 2026. Let us know what you want to hear about.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

Thank you for watching us. We really appreciate you being here. If you enjoyed the episode, like, subscribe, share with a friend, and join us next time. Thank you. Bye bye.